e shtunë, 23 qershor 2007

a day in the life of a call-girl










i work in a call center as TSR - a technical support representative.


i am one of those who make up the dots in the ever rising statistics of not practicing the profession one graduates from the drudgery that is college. i spent about a quarter of a mil in books, travel, food, allowances, hospital affiliations, projects, presentations, case studies - all highway robbery.
college education is a killer in the Philippines. especially if you enrol in medical courses...and, more so, if you are enrolled in the college that i was in. notorious reputation that school has...


so, instead of twisting my tongue with impressing medical jargon such as facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy or oligodendroglioma; or asking questions like: "When was the last time you were able poop normally?" or "Are you sure you made him wear condoms?" or scribble notes that read like ingredients on some witches' cauldron to the untrained eye --


i am now relooping to the technical hybrid language, like "What are the status of the lights on your DSL modem?" and "When was the last time you were able to connect?" and "Mrs. Vlandaegangisheikaya, the reason you don't have Internet is because you did not pay your bill..."


the 7 out of the 8 hours i spend on the phone is troubleshooting Internet connection. of course, assuring and empathizing with the customers ("Oh, I assure you Mr. Jones that you are talking to a live human being; and I do apologize if you have to wait for 55 minutes on the queue - listening to a voice recording. However, the department that should address your queries is at the moment closed. Please call back tomorrow...") and then, starting on the 4th hour of taking in calls, my tongue goes funny and i could hear myself talking Engilonggrish... English-mixed-with-Ilonggo gibberish.

hey, i'm just being truthful. we may pride ourselves as good imitators of the English language. but there is always that point where, heavy doses of caffeine, nicotine, irregular sleep habits would eventually take its toll...
this is apparent when after saying a page full of explanations and directions, the customer would say "What - ???"
and , this is where i press on the mute button for several seconds, cuss and let out a stream of profanities in Ilonggo, unhold the mute command on my phone, go on air and say in my most saccharine voice - "Oh I'm sorry Ma'am, something's wrong with the connection - everything sounded garbled back there..but i will repeat eveything with pleasure."


and the pay? don't let me discuss the salary. puh-leeeze. i strongly feel that the Bureau of Internal Revenue is envious of a call center agent's salary and retaliates by raking in two-thirds of what we earn.

i am in a 1AM to 10Am shift. there are pre-shift and post-shift team huddles. and for some, they just huddle - in pairs. they can be found in parking lots, empty gaming rooms and lockers. call center agents who read this would know what i mean.
and, by the time i finish my shift i would be greeted by the full-blast of the noonday sun, averaging 33 degrees C... can you imagine coming from the floor (this is how we refer to our working area) with a temperature akin to that of the North Pole. you get brain freeze for 8 hours solid, and have it liquefied in a zap...
no wonder call center people party hard. side-effects of the job.
Connect. Disconnect.




1 koment:

dave aL tha...

but of course, there is always the time when we are rewarded --- when a person thousands of miles away thanks us for our help and for being so nice and patient and you-know-what. that, my friend, is the satisfaction i get from the job.

(please excuse me, i need to cough)

or... the values that i learn on the phone - politeness, kindness, benevolence, empathy, blah blah blah... these virtues need to be reinforced in modern times.

(ehem)

and hell yeah, proficiency in the english language! the job surely develops my speaking/listening skill. it improves our ability to speak the global language, which will help us face the, er, world, and of course, which will get us laid with a caucasian. duh.

(gawd)

and the pay, definitely. i can now afford a giant cheeseburger and tuna fettuccine and coleslaw salad all in one sitting.

damn, i love this job!!!

(er... am i doing this right?)=P
because i almost believed myself there.